I've been thinking for a while now. It's been a long time since I've been on here writing down my feelings. Alot happened since the "Thanks..." post. My parrents are getting a divorce. I've been going through a hatred for myself. I'm afraid of loosing my friends more than ever before. Which leads me to why I'm writing this. I've been watching Glee for a while now, and I know this sounds stupid, but it helps me through everything. It helps me clear off my mind, and not think about all the bad stuff thats happening. I'm really watching in hard. And I came across a funeral in the series, and it caught me thinking. When someone in a school dies, all of the classmates shows up at their funeral. So what if someone in my class died? Would I cry? Yes, of course I would, but would the tears be meaningful? Would they show how much of a loss, and how much pain I'm going through? No. I don't think so. Of course I would be sad. But I'd get over it pretty darn fast.
But then, what if Mie or Nalle died? I wouldn't be able to stand from all the crying. I would cling to Nalle the whole time if Mie died, and I would cling to Mie if Nalle died. And I would really have a hard time letting go if them again. And I would be down a long time after. And I kind of hope, that they'd do the same if I died.
I really, really love those guys. They mean everything to me. And I'm so sad, having to leave them for Copenhagen. There's not really much that I can do about it, I just hope that we'll be able to keep contact. With the guys too. ...I have nothing to write now. I've lost insperation. I'll post something else another day..
