I know this sounds a bit wierd, and most people will probably think that I'm only saying this cuz' I want attention, but this is how I feel.
Roughly said I feel like I have the abillity to read peoples mind. Not directly, read what people think, but I'm good at guessing peoples feelings before they know it, themselves. I come up with theories, about humanity which mostly is correct. I get the feeling of dejavú quite often, and it happens pretty often that I dreamt what'd happen the next day...
I kind of like the thought, but I think most people would disagree and call me crazy. Saying that my imagination is too lively.
I've always taken quite an interest in these sort of things, and that's probably why I call it my sixth sense.
Just a short notice for you guys...
Monday, 19 March 2012
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Confused
I feel wierd. Confused, if you'd like. My friends are worried about me. What should I do? Monday night I broke down crying for the first time in almost 6 months. I was on skype with Nalle - one of my best friend, and of course she got really worried. That made me really happy, and it made me feel loved. A feeling that I missed out on, the first 8 years of school. She tried to comfort me, but I could tell that she had a hard time doing it.
I didn't come to school the next day. The breakdown was too much for me, and made me feel sick. I didn't have the courage to meet, the hating people in class. I wouldn't say that they bully me, but they don't really care about me.
Anyway,
I was supposed to ride the bus, to school since my parents left very early that morning to copenhagen, but I decided to fake it. When my parrents called and asked if I made it to the bus, I simply answered yes, even though I hadn't even dressed. It was something I planned the night before, so I was sure when I woke up that I wouldn't go.
Actually I had planned to go to sleep again when my parrents had called, but I didn't feel very tired so I turned on the computer and decided to learn how to knit. I learned it supricingly fast, but gave up half way in cuz' I messed up. I felt more relaxed than the night before. You could almost say that I was my normal happy self again.
But then one of my friends texted me and asked me if I was okay, and it all came raining down again. But I managed to smile, and tell her that it wasn't anything that serious, since it was only a small breakdown. But she kept on going, and told that it wasn't alright, and that she felt really bad worrying about me. That made me feel worse. I didn't want her to feel bad, because of me, but at the same time I was glad that somebody did. I tried to assure that I was okay. She told me 'ok' but I still had the feeling that she didn't accept it.
When My dad came home the same day, the first thing he asked me was "Did you go to school today?" I answered with an undertone "Yes." but he kept going "Where is your bus-ticket?" That made me panic. I didn't have one. I asked, "What do you want that for" whereto he laughed and said, "Nothing, I was only messing around!" I relaxed again, smiled and said "oh."
When I came to school the next day - I was running a little late, and got there almost and hour after the first bell rang - I had this horrible feeling that my friends were mad at me. Especially Mie. My other best friend and 'little brother'.
I had an idea why, but then again I could be wrong. I wondered if it could be me, and my wierd moodswings that was out fucking with me. Or could that bitch Sofie - my mortal enemy since 6th grade - have told them something wierd about me, that made them hate me? No. They weren't like that.
I spend most of the day with them, but felt uncomfortable with them around, and decided to walk off with two of my other friends, whom I normally don't hang around.
Nalle and Mie apearently talked, and thet both asked me if something was wrong, which I answered "Uhmm ... not really, I'm just feeling a bit bad.."
At the end of the day they asked me if I was mad at them, which I wasn't and we came to the conclusion that we were just scarring each other away.
Even though I still had a feeling that Mie was very mad at me.
I spend the rest of the week up until now(sunday) feeling wierd, and my moodswinging has gotten a bit better. But now I feel alot more useless than usual ... And I've gotten these huge black lines under my eyes.
I don't know what's with me, but it's definatly not good...
I didn't come to school the next day. The breakdown was too much for me, and made me feel sick. I didn't have the courage to meet, the hating people in class. I wouldn't say that they bully me, but they don't really care about me.
Anyway,
I was supposed to ride the bus, to school since my parents left very early that morning to copenhagen, but I decided to fake it. When my parrents called and asked if I made it to the bus, I simply answered yes, even though I hadn't even dressed. It was something I planned the night before, so I was sure when I woke up that I wouldn't go.
Actually I had planned to go to sleep again when my parrents had called, but I didn't feel very tired so I turned on the computer and decided to learn how to knit. I learned it supricingly fast, but gave up half way in cuz' I messed up. I felt more relaxed than the night before. You could almost say that I was my normal happy self again.
But then one of my friends texted me and asked me if I was okay, and it all came raining down again. But I managed to smile, and tell her that it wasn't anything that serious, since it was only a small breakdown. But she kept on going, and told that it wasn't alright, and that she felt really bad worrying about me. That made me feel worse. I didn't want her to feel bad, because of me, but at the same time I was glad that somebody did. I tried to assure that I was okay. She told me 'ok' but I still had the feeling that she didn't accept it.
When My dad came home the same day, the first thing he asked me was "Did you go to school today?" I answered with an undertone "Yes." but he kept going "Where is your bus-ticket?" That made me panic. I didn't have one. I asked, "What do you want that for" whereto he laughed and said, "Nothing, I was only messing around!" I relaxed again, smiled and said "oh."
When I came to school the next day - I was running a little late, and got there almost and hour after the first bell rang - I had this horrible feeling that my friends were mad at me. Especially Mie. My other best friend and 'little brother'.
I had an idea why, but then again I could be wrong. I wondered if it could be me, and my wierd moodswings that was out fucking with me. Or could that bitch Sofie - my mortal enemy since 6th grade - have told them something wierd about me, that made them hate me? No. They weren't like that.
I spend most of the day with them, but felt uncomfortable with them around, and decided to walk off with two of my other friends, whom I normally don't hang around.
Nalle and Mie apearently talked, and thet both asked me if something was wrong, which I answered "Uhmm ... not really, I'm just feeling a bit bad.."
At the end of the day they asked me if I was mad at them, which I wasn't and we came to the conclusion that we were just scarring each other away.
Even though I still had a feeling that Mie was very mad at me.
I spend the rest of the week up until now(sunday) feeling wierd, and my moodswinging has gotten a bit better. But now I feel alot more useless than usual ... And I've gotten these huge black lines under my eyes.
I don't know what's with me, but it's definatly not good...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)